i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
