5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
