She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
