I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
