at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Someone came in the potted fern
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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