i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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