so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
