Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i dont even know how to be here
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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