i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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