Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
