I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
