The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
