Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
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