This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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