I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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