I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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