your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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