we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
