party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
