nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
