i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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