My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
