jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
