He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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