I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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