Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Randomize
