can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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