What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
