If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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