We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. đź’€
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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