bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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