Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
