Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
