the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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