Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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