I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
