we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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