this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize