did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
