if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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