You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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