areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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