If i could tip my vagina, i would.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
