One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
