Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
