oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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