end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
