you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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