I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
