how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
